Halloween
by OzGeek
Summary: Abby's Halloween prank backfires on McGee. A little McAbby, a little bit of Tony and Abby ganging up too. Just a one shot, biding my time while wading through repeats of season 2. Yes, you read that right.


Halloween

Tim McGee stopped short as he entered Abby's lab. It was eerily dark: the lights were off and Abby seemed to have covered her ground level windows with black plastic into which she had cut some Halloween designs: cats, witches etc. It wasn't completely dark, though; there was an orange flickering glow to the place. As his eyes adjusted he found he there was a rather ominous looking pumpkin face glaring at him at close range, its candle light serving only to enhance the malevolent atmosphere. It wasn't helped by the music; he was starting to miss Abby's usual racket.

"Ahh, Abby," he called out tentatively, keeping an eye on the pumpkin as he walked further in.

He turned his head and stopped again, startled. There was another pumpkin head: grinning at him more evilly than the first, if possible. He side stepped around that one and gasped as he took in the sight of what must have been more then fifty manically grinning pumpkins flickering at him in an unworldly fashion. They perched on benches, under desks, even along the floor.

"Hey McGee," he could hardly see Abby in the gloom but then he had forgotten to look, he had other things on his mind.

He headed over to her to get a better look at what she was doing. She seemed to working intently on her teeth with a small brush while peering into a hand held mirror. She looked up at him, grinning widely and McGee saw that she had been using some kind of black paint to give the illusion that her teeth were pointy.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Making points," she said matter-of-factly.

"Oh-Kay," he said slowly. He probably wasn't going to get a reasonable explanation so he might as well give up now. "Gibbs wanted to get the DNA results from you."

"Another hour at least," she said. "I'll give you a buzz."

"You always give me a buzz," he smiled at her.

"That is so sweet, McGee." She put down her paintbrush and picked up a metal object lying on the bench.

"Tell, me: do you think this looks real?" She held a realistic gun to her head.

"Abby," he gasped suddenly, snatching the gun from her. "Never do that!"

"It's just a toy," she protested.

"Never," he regarded her seriously. "It's the first rule of guns, never treat them as toys."

"But it is a toy, McGee."

"Don't," he snapped, placing the gun firmly on the bench and with that he turned and left.

* * *

Tony's phone rang in the bullpen.

"Abby's got something for us," he called over to McGee.

McGee looked up. "I'll catch up," he said rustling through his desk. "I forgot to give her back these magazines this morning."

"Wooo," Tony screeched to a halt. "Abby magazines?"

"Electronics Monthly, Tony," McGee didn't even bother to dignify Tony's response with a glance.

Tony pouted in disappointment. "She has better ones than that," he muttered heading for the elevator.

* * *

Tony didn't even blink when he entered Abby's lab. He neatly side stepped the ominous decapitated Easter Island pumpkin heads and headed straight for Abby's bench. He did pause momentarily at the sight of Abby face down on the bench with a gun next to her and a patch of blood on one side of her head but then he remembered the day and kept walking.

"Very funny," he said casually. "What have you got for me?"

"You're no fun," she pouted raising her head. She looked around. "Where's McGee?"

"Coming," said Tony. "He was bringing up some magazines."

"Ohhh, I still get another chance," Abby grinned.

* * *

McGee was still slightly un-nerved as he entered the lab. He was sure this was Abby's favourite day of the year but the whole thing gave him the creeps. He headed to the bench where he had last seen Abby, wondering what she was constructing this time. Then he came upon her lying face down in a pool of blood with Tony leaning closely over her head. The magazines dropped from his hands with a resounding thud. Tony looked up suddenly at the sound.

"Why aren't you doing something?" McGee shouted angrily at Tony.

"It's too late," said Tony sadly.

"No," McGee yelled. "It can't be."

Adrenaline pumped wildly through his system looking for a place to be useful. His brain fibrillated from one idea to another. He panted wild-eyed and panicky wondering how Tony could possibly be so calm.

And then Abby sat up and grinned at him, her pointy teeth shining in the gloom.

The gears in his brain jammed noisily as it tried to cope with the paradigm shift. The brain switched off the noisy air intake so it could concentrate but pretty soon it just gave up, turned out the lights, and went to bed.

Abby and Tony watched in amusement as McGee's panic turned to shock. He froze solid for a moment, then the colour leeched from his face, he made some harsh choking noises and toppled forward, hitting the ground like a bag of cement.

"Too much?" Abby asked Tony lightly looking down at McGee: pale and lifeless on the floor.

"Nahhhh," Tony assured her.

Together they squatted down to peer closely at McGee's unconscious face only to sit back started as he gasped suddenly back to consciousness.

"Abby," he cried urgently.

"I'm OK," she called struggling to resume her squatting position. "It was just a Halloween prank."

"Oh, God, Abby," he scrambled clumsily to reach out for her, capturing her roughly and smothering her as he knelt on the floor.

"I can't breath," came Abby's muffled voice from somewhere in the folds of McGee's clothing.

He pushed her out to arms length and she could see the tears of fear in his eyes.

"Never, ever, EVER do that again, understand?" he shook her violently in time with his speech. "Ever. Do you understand?" The statement had it all: hurt, resentment, relief, humiliation and anger.

She nodded dumbly and he hugged her close again.

"It was pretty funny, though," she giggled.

"Should have seen your face, Probie," Tony concurred.

McGee sighed and released Abby. Making a fuss would just cause more humiliation; he might as well cut his losses. He could feel his ears burning red with embarrassment and was glad of the low light.

"Ha, ha, very funny," he growled, pushing himself to his feet. "Do you have anything more constructive to show us?"

"Sure," said Abby cheerfully. "Step right this way."

Somewhere in his brain a little warning light was blinking. It was telling him something about not standing up yet, something about laying very still and letting the blood actually retrace its path to his brain. He ignored the peculiar light-headed sensation and the spots dancing before his eyes and followed Abby back to the bench where Tony was unsuccessfully trying to hide a smirk. McGee shot him a dark look and he bit his lip. He saw Abby and Tony share guilty glances, like they had both just got in trouble for something at school.

"Don't," he warned ominously with more strength than he felt.

This drew a spontaneous snort from both of them. He sighed again in frustration. He really didn't feel like being the butt of someone's joke today.

His grip on reality seemed a little tenuous and he groped for the bench to help support some of his weight. He slid his eyes to Abby and Tony but they were resolutely staring at the screen as is their lives depended on it. No one was going to be looking his way any time soon.

"I'll show you what I've got," said Abby steadfastly staring at the screen and trying to smother her laughter.

Tony avoided McGee's eyes and pretended to be absorbed by Abby's pictures, even if he had no idea what they meant.

McGee didn't listen as Abby explained her findings in great detail. All he could think about was the hurt. Abby had hurt him. There was a time when she was nice to him, defended him from Tony's bullying. He felt like he'd been abandoned by his only friend.

The picture on the screen changed and Tony actually pointed at something. Not something important, but at least he was trying. McGee's mind flew back to Erin, lying dead on her bedroom floor. The wonderful woman with whom, just moments before, he had been sharing his life story. He had such hopes of them growing old together. Erin, the beautiful, intelligent woman, he had pretty much fallen for the moment she opened her door to his knock. But he was too late, too late to help her. Seeing her lying there fuelled within him a hunger for retribution that he had never felt before and there was still some residual frustration over the fact that when he trapped the offender, he was not allowed to blow his brains out. Erin deserved to be avenged. He felt tears sting his eyes and he blinked rapidly to banish them.

He focused back on Abby who had moved on to something else, a gun by the look of it. Just like that sniper rifle Gibbs had demonstrated so expertly. Just like the one that had snatched Kate's life in a heartbeat. A moment he was not even present for. He had only been told later. Much later. Too late. It had been days before he could open a filing cabinet drawer without seeing Kate's face looking up at him. He harboured a deep sense of loss over Kate. It was like his big sister had been taken from him just when he was getting to know her. Seeing her in autopsy on that cold steel slab amplified the permanency of her death and his own impotence at preventing it.

He could feel the sweat prickling over his body.

Then there was Abby. The almost naïve child who had generously taken him into this place and made him feel welcome. One who could quite easily have played with a gun and got it all terribly, terribly wrong. He had thought he had lost her, too late again. Unable to enforce in her how dangerous it was to play with fatal toys. It had been his fault.

Visions of Abby lying on her desk with half her head blown away flashed unbidden before him. He felt himself rising above the scene, hovering over the bench looking down on her grotesque form. As he hung in mid air he felt himself start to spin slowly and then gravity caught him and he started plummeting to earth at a tremendous rate.

"Guys," he whispered hoarsely.

His last vision was of Tony lunging towards him. McGee hoped it wouldn't hurt too much.

* * *

"What do you think McGee?" Abby was impatient to pump information for McGee then clear him out of the lab so that she and Tony could finally release the pent up laughter that was building to a dangerous crescendo inside them.

She couldn't risk looking at him. Instead she turned purposely to Tony, standing on the other side.

"McGee's ignoring me again," she whined, still unable to hide her grin.

Tony looked up at McGee; his glazed eyes were staring off into mid distance. 'Sulking,' Tony summarized. Tony loved sulkers, he loved the fact that they all secretly harboured some futile hope that he would actually say 'sorry' one day.

"Hey Probie," he called. "Lady asked you a question."

No response: Head slapping time.

Tony pushed himself away from the bench with his hands and strolled his way casually around the back of both Abby and McGee so he could get a clear shot at McGee's head without risking Abby getting caught in the crossfire. He brought his face up nice and close to McGee's. Then he stopped. Were McGee's lips always that white? What were those little beads of sweat?

"Why are you breathing like that, Probie?" he demanded.

At that point McGee gave a sort of sigh, which vaguely sounded like a word of sorts, and crumpled in front of him.

Tony DiNozzo was an athlete. He had lightning fast reflexes which had held him in good stead both on the playing fields and in the field as a cop and an agent. The only problem was that such reflexes tended to bypass the logic centre of the brain in order to get the job done. Had the nerve impulse chosen the slower route, he might have realised that attempting to stop a large guy from hitting the floor at considerable speed was likely to result in collateral damage: namely to him.

Tony grasped valiantly as McGee collapsed to the ground but the jumble of bones and sinew descended on him like a rampaging truck crushing him to the floor. In seconds he was lying under an extremely heavy, clammy, sweaty body that seemed completely immovable. That's the last time he'd try to catch a fainting large guy. Delicate females: yes, large guys: no. He managed to extract himself from under McGee's great weight with some difficulty.

Abby, ignoring his plight was crouching down peering at McGee with a concerned look on her face.

"Timmy," she called nervously.

She laid her hand on his arm and felt the sweat that had soaked through his shirt. He was ice cold to the touch and shaking so hard his teeth were chattering.

"Tony," said Abby in a strangled voice. "Get the blanket, over there, by the bench."

* * *

McGee's eyelids parted slightly and Abby saw two slightly glazed slits peering out uncomprehendingly. They blinked a couple of times and slowly some trace of humanity returned.

Tony squatted to place the blanket over McGee's shivering body but McGee reacted against him angrily, striking out to fend him off. He scrambled frantically to a sitting position.

"No, Stop!" cried Abby urgently. "He's only putting a blanket on you."

McGee snapped back to her face wildly. "What? No! I don't need a blanket, what are you two up to?"

"You're in shock," Abby pleaded.

"I'm fine," he growled.

"Look at you," she pointed out.

He looked down at his sweaty, shaking hands. "Ok, I'm in shock," he relented.

"Here," said Abby gently wrapping the blanket around his shoulders.

Now the immediate danger was over he began to realise how bad he was feeling. He was icy cold and the blanket seemed no more than a thin veneer, providing no warmth. His mouth was painfully dry. His stomach was clenched in a knot and he had an overwhelming urge to lie down again.

Abby attempted to hand him a Caf-Pow.

"Here," she urged.

He recoiled from it as his stomach tightened but Abby followed him with the drink.

"You need the fluid," she insisted, "and the caffeine will be good too."

A new fine coating of droplets appeared on his top lip and he swallowed dryly.

"You're gonna ralph aren't you?" Abby sighed resolutely.

McGee nodded tight-lipped, his teeth still chattering beneath his tightly closed mouth.

"It's OK, hon," she said quietly.

Abby looked up at Tony and opened her eyes wide at him suggesting, in no uncertain terms, that he find a suitable receptacle quickly. Tony got the message and returned moments later with Abby's lunchbox which he had emptied of contents.

"Tony..," Abby started to complain but it was too late, McGee had already started retching. Abby held him tightly with each convulsion, her hand on his forehead for support. He seemed to have lost most of his muscle tone.

As McGee rested against her, pale, clammy and gasping painfully, she mouthed to Tony "get Ducky". Tony nodded once and moved for the phone.

Abby turned her attention to McGee again.

"Drink," she demanded.

Eyes closed, he took a small sip compliantly. It actually tasted pretty good at the moment and he wasn't a great a fan of Caf-Pow.

"Feeling better?" she asked him gently.

He nodded curtly, eyes shut tightly. He really wanted to lie down, he was feeling very woozy. He didn't have the strength to tell anyone so he slumped loosely against Abby.

* * *

Ducky strode through the door carrying his medical bag not even pausing to admire Abby's gruesome pumpkin display. He did stopped suddenly when he saw Abby and McGee on the floor, the latter deathly pale and shaking, the former with a huge glob of solidified red paint on one side of her hair.

"What on earth happened?" he asked.

"Ah, McGee had a bit of a shock," Abby explained.

"A bit!" Ducky exclaimed. "I've had customers downstairs who looked less shocked than that! Do you feel like you want to lie down at all Timothy?" he asked wondering how the guy was managing to stay upright at all.

"Yeah," came the hoarse whisper.

"Ok, quickly, I think, Abigail." Dukcy almost pushed McGee to the floor. "And what in God's name is that in your hair?"

"Its fake blood," Abby enthused. "Doesn't it look real?"

"Too red," Ducky dismissed her. "You'd have to eat red meat breakfast, lunch and dinner to get your iron levels up that high."

"Fooled McGee," said Abby indignantly.

"Oh..," said Ducky, comprehending the situation. "I see". Then he noticed her teeth. "Mind you with fangs like that, you probably would be an exclusive carnivore."

He knelt down next to McGee and opened his bag. "I'm just going to take your blood pressure", he explained. "You know there's a specific medical term that describes the way you look."

"What?" McGee whispered keeping his eyes shut.

"Crap," said Ducky.

Ducky took McGee blood pressure and whistled low. "Well, I hope you have nowhere else to be because you're going to lying down there for a good 15 to 20 minutes, while we wait for one of these numbers to get into the triple digits," he warned.

* * *

Ziva entered Abby's lair and stopped for a moment to take in the ambience. American's did some strange things for their holidays. She rounded the bench and came across the sight of McGee lying on the floor surrounded by Tony, Abby and Ducky.

"Oh," she said startled. "I wasn't aware that the Halloween tradition included a virgin sacrifice."

"Ka-ching!" Tony gave her an air drum applause.

"Very funny," came McGee's voice from the floor.

"Gibbs is just coming…," Ziva started.

* * *

Gibbs walked into Abby's lab and grunted in annoyance. He hated it when the lab was dark. He flicked on the lights and strode to the music, killing it with one swift stab or his right index finger. Now he felt better.

"Where is everyone?" he called out.

"Over here," he heard Abby's faint call.

Then he came upon the scene.

"What the hell happened?" he demanded. "And what is that crap in your hair?"

"Well," Abby started her excuse. "It was Halloween and, well, I was just having fun and…"

Gibbs caught Tony and Ziva looking on in amusement. "You two got anything to do with this?"

"No," they snapped.

"Then get out."

Tony and Ziva turned in unison when Gibbs suddenly stopped them.

"Wait!" he commanded.

They both froze.

"DiNozzo, apologise to McGee."

"What!"

"Tell him you are sorry and won't do it again," Gibbs instructed.

"But, Boss," Tony's pride was at stake.

"DiNozzo….," there was the Gibbs wind up.

"Sorry McGee, won't happen again," Tony blurted frantically.

"Now go: both of you." And they fled.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Gibbs rounded on Abby.

"It was just a joke," she whimpered pitifully giving him her best puppy dog face.

"Go and wash that crap out of your hair and then clean up that bench," he reprimanded her. "You will never do this again. Understood?"

Abby wilted under The Stare. "OK".

"McGee," Gibbs turned his attention to the body on the floor.

"I know, Boss," McGee made a pre-emptive strike. "It's just, she sort of looked dead and she'd been playing with this gun and she wouldn't listen to me and…"

"McGee," Gibbs cut him off. "Don't apologise."

There was a pause as McGee waited for the punch line, but it didn't come.

"At your age," Gibbs considered. "Under the same circumstances, I might well have done exactly the same thing."


End file.
